Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The Start of a Father

Luke was about two weeks, old fresh out of the hospital. We were just getting comfortable being really hands on and giving him sponge baths when we decided to whip out the nice big bath tub. It was also the first time Fred and I were attempting to take him a bath by ourselves no more grandmas or aunties around to help or snap pictures, just the two of us doing it on our own, all grown up.

We both make a good team and came up with the perfect method. I was going to lather and sponge, Fred was going to rinse him with water. What can go wrong?

It was nerve racking but we were doing great, all smiles, pretty tense but we were doing good. I told Fred to make sure he didn't get any water in his ears, I don't know how diligent one must be when it comes to getting water in babies ears but we figured it was bad and didn't want Luke to end up getting an ear infection.  

I probably put too much soap on Luke's head but with all that hair on that little head how could i not? Fred had to get all the soap off and began to pour water on his head and like slow motion we saw all the water run down like a river right into his little baby ear.

Fred face turned pale as he turned to stone, petrified his heart sank and tears immediately ran down his face. He felt defeated thinking he had hurt his son, crying with his lip quivering he said, "I can't do this, you do it," and walked out of the room. For the first time I saw Fred's pure, genuine vulnerability and it cut me straight to the heart.

Those last two weeks Fred had done such an amazing job being a new father, changing diapers, waking up with him, caring for him and for the first time he felt like he had harmed Luke and he was completely heart broken and distraught.

I immediately began to cry because I had just witnessed something so beautiful and tender. I saw the love of a father for his son, the fear he had that he had hurt his son and the disappointment he felt because he thought he had failed as a father. "It's ok, he's ok, please come back let's finish together " I said holding him and trying to console him, "you're doing good." 

Fred didn't want to finish the bath but I knew I had to encourage him to not give up. We finished Luke's bath both in tears. I always knew Fred was going to be an amazing dad but that night just confirmed it. I'm so blessed to be his wife and I know our children are so blessed to have him as a father. I could not ask for a better man. I love you babe, Happy Father's Day! 

By the way I showed Fred the story before sharing it with everyone just to make sure he was ok with me sharing and he wanted me to add that the other day he took Luke a bath all by himself!

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