Sweet 7 Month Noah

Yesterday Noah turned 7 months! I can't believe how big my baby has gotten! It kinda freaks me out a little when I see him in pictures because I'm like, Man! He looks huge! But when I'm holding him and caring for him I still feel like he's my teeny tiny baby! Here's a little of whats going on with My Noah at 7 months:

• He sits up for the most part, I put a boppy pillow around because he'll unexpectedly throw himself back but he likes to sit and play with toys.
• He eats food! He's had baby cereal, green beans, carrots, mum mum crackers, and in the last week has moved up to watermelon, strawberries and eggs! We used to be able to put him on the bouncer while we ate and now he screams because he wants to join us!
• He weighs and measures..? I think the size of a small turkey. We skipped his 6 month appt, I know bad mommy, we'll take him for his 9 month, no biggie. Lets just say he's healthy and those little rolls prove it. 
• He rolls around like a rolly polly. He ends up across the room from rolling around!
• He's still breastfeeding and finally starting to take some formula. I'm thinking of weaning him off by the end of summer, we'll see how that goes...
• Sleeps on his tummy and wakes up about 2-3 times on a good night. 
• He stands really well supported, I'm betting he'll be an early walker!
• Got in the pool for the first time last week, he wasn't super thrilled but didn't dislike it!
• He goes to the nursery on sunday mornings at church and does pretty well!
• He screams when he gets upset, he can go from 0-10 in screaming crying mode in less than 10 seconds! It used to freak me out at first but he can turn it off in a second as soon he gets what he wants. It's a bit dramatic. But thats what happens to little brothers, they have to be extra loud to be heard! 
• No teeth yet. (Thank God! Lets wean him off first, please!)
• He's sweetie pie. Smiles all the time, talks bunch with his cooing! Giggles at daddy and brother. And rests his sweet head on mommies chest, melts my heart on a daily basis!
• Oh and those curls! I'm in love with those curls! They're a reminder of God's goodness! I've always wanted a baby with curls and here they are! Daddy wants to give hims hair cut already but I refuse!!

Noah, you fill our home and hearts with joy and laughter, you add sweetness to our day. I love you my little guy.

Love Bears All Things

Meet Bear.

He is Luke's beloved and I'll admit it, I envy Bear!

Bear gets all the hugs, kisses and cuddles, poor bear has no nose because it got bitten off from the constant biting kisses! He got this bear from grandma, she purchased it for him from Build-a Bear for his first Christmas, since then they've been inseparable!

But when it comes to mommy Luke is not very affectionate, I've struggled with this to the point of tears. I've asked myself "Did I do something wrong? Does he love me?" When I was pregnant and found out he was a boy people would always tell me how sweet boys are to their mommies so I anxiously waited for that day to come! I'm still waiting...

I even found myself googling for answers, "Why is my child not affectionate?"

I try to kiss him and he leans his head in instead, I try to hug him and he fights me and wiggles himself out of my arms. When he gets hurt or when we're out around crowds he does want me and runs to me but that's about it.

All I want to do is cuddle and love on this kid I so fervently prayed for!

I have to accept that that's just the who he is, he's never been that kid who wants to be held. Since he was a baby he didn't like sleeping in my arms he just wanted to be put in his crib to sleep. With me and others he's not a hugger, he's a fist pump type of dude.  Now as a toddler he's that strong willed, let me do it on my own, don't hold my hand type of boy.

We've had plenty of meltdowns in parking lots because he wants to walk all by himself! He'd rather throw himself on the ground than hold my hand! That turkey...

Well all that doesn't keep me from kissing and hugging him one bit! He'll just squeal and get a silly grin on his face, I know deep down inside he enjoys me and does love his momma but he likes to plays the hard to to get card with me!

Luke's strong willed personality has drawn me to prayer.

I keep a prayer journal specifically for him and over and over again the pages are filled with, "Lord help him to be loving, help him obey, help him not be so angry and to not hit, help me be loving and patient with him" and of course my biggest prayer is that he would come to know Jesus.

I've began to see some of these prayers answered. My lap is becoming a comfy seat on the couch and at the dinner table, I'll take it! He blows kisses to people when he says bye! He pats Noah on the head sometimes. And just the other night he sorta kissed me! He leaned in real close and it was more of a bite but I'm pretty sure he was trying to kiss me! I got teary eyed I was so happy! I'll take any form of affection from this kid even if its just for a few seconds!

So back to bear. He was once just a nap/bed time companion now he gets dragged around everywhere! He's developed this distinct musty detergent smell that Luke loves and sniffs when he holds him. 

One day he'll get tired of bear and move his affection towards other things, maybe not even me and that's ok, maybe it will be his future wife. I bet she won't have a problem getting him to hold her hand and give her kisses and if she does we'll be able to relate and talk about how I had the same issue when he was little and we'll pray for him together! For now I will continue to love him unconditionally and continue to display Gods love towards him.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

Love never ends. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Luke with Bear around 7 months.

This is normal.

Just hanging outside, with bear of course!

We tried buying him a new bear after he bit off the nose of his real bear but he's faithful to bear.

The usual response to mommy trying to hold him!

Look at that grin!

The first time he actually laid with me, he woke up crying and then laid on the couch with me! This never happens!

I'm telling you this is normal for most moms, for me its a real treat! It also helped that I had a cookie!

Mommy will always love you and give you a million kisses, get used to it!

Happy 1 Month Noah!

My sweet sweet Noah, you are 1 month today! I'm so grateful for you precious boy, you've added so much love and excitement to our family. Luke loves you and has tried to hug you a couple of times! He's also hit you a few times.. Once with his sippy, then my phone and yesterday with a big lego. But you've taken it like a champ and he's learning to be gentle with you! I'm sure you'll catch up with him soon since you already decided to roll over at 5 days and you can hold that head up pretty good! You're not the best sleeper and you keep mommy and daddy up at night but you sure are the best cozy cuddler! I love you baby boy and I love seeing how much you're growing and how chunky you're already getting! You're starting to rock the cutest double chin! I can't wait to celebrate with you you're first Christmas in just a few weeks but Santa said you need to start sleeping better at night if you want to be on the nice list ;) lol! Love you sweet boy!

My Birth Story: Sweet Noah

My sweet Noah! You have brought me such an immense joy since the day I found out you were coming. Although I was praying for you, you were still a lovely sweet surprise. And the day I found out you were a precious boy was even more of a surprise! So I guess it was only fitting that your birth day would come to me as a total surprise as well! Here is your birth story. 

Sunday, November 10- A usual Sunday. Went to church, went to the groundbreaking ceremony of Grace, had lunch with Sel and Nick at Pizzeria Testa. In fact we were celebrating my 26th birthday from the week before with them and they took us out to lunch. Later that evening we were hanging out at the house with them watching Sunday night football. Then my phone rang...

That sunday before church Fred wanted to take a picture of me because
he thought I looked pretty!

It was a private caller and I don't answer private calls ever! They kept calling and calling and I kept ignoring, ignoring! I thought if it's important they can leave a message! The night went on as usual.

A few weeks before I had been having a really hard time sleeping at night because I had terrible itchiness all over my body that would keep me up. My doctor had done some blood work to check my liver because she thought that might be what was causing the itchiness. She wanted to check if it was Cholestasis, it's really rare goes away after birth but sometimes it happens in late pregnancy and high liver biles cause the itching and could be harmful to baby. I was a little freaked out but I knew I had to trust in the Lord that we were going to be ok and Noah was going to be healthy.

I went to sleep that Sunday night and surprisingly the Lord blessed me with the best sleep I had had in days! I also didn't realize that I had a voicemail on my phone, maybe that call was important? 

Monday, November 11- It was Veteran's day. Unfortunately school didn't close on Veterans day and Fred still had to work. I woke up that morning refreshed from the great sleep I had had. Morning went on as usual. I got Luke out of his room, made chorizo for breakfast and then I started doing the dishes. Luke had been playing on my phone and was in the kitchen with me. I looked down and realized Fred was trying to face time me. I got excited because he usually just calls so its a real treat when I get to see him even if its just through a face time call! I answered it and was not prepared for what he told me!

Snapped a screen shot because I wanted to remember this call forever!

Me: Hey Babe! 

Fred: Do you have your phone on silent? 

Me: I don't know, Luke's been playing with it.

Fred: I just got off the phone with your doctor and it looks like we're having this baby today!

Me: WHAT! You're kidding.

Fred: Nope, she wants you to have this baby today, she was trying to call you last night and has been trying to get a hold of you this morning but you're not answering your phone so she decided to call me.

Me: WHAT!!!

Fred: She said to call her as soon as possible.

Me: You're kidding!

Fred: Nope, call her and then call me back to see what she says.

Me: OH MY GOSH! REALLY? WE'RE HAVING THIS BABY TODAY?

I was in total shock! I thought it was pretty sweet that Fred was the one that got to break the news to me! 

So I called my doctor and she said my results came in and my liver biles were in fact high and the best thing to do was to get induced early. She told me to get my things ready and head to the hospital and she would meet me there to induce me!

Thankfully I already had most of my hospital bag packed but there were still a ton of things I would have wanted to get done before Noah's arrival! I was actually thankful I didn't get that call the night before because knowing me I would have stayed up all night trying to clean, tidy, get Luke's meals ready, do laundry, rethink my hospital pj's, I would have been a mess and I would've been up all night!

So Fred's mom arrived that morning, she was going to watch Luke. She's so sweet she immedialty started doing dishes while I got my stuff ready! She actually ended up cleaning my whole house that day! Fred got a sub, took off from work and arrived home to get me!

When I imagined what it would be like saying bye to Luke before leaving to the hospital I though I was going to be in tears as I said bye for the last time to my one and only baby boy, next time I saw him it wouldn't be just him and it made me a little sad to think of it. Maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe it was the Lord but I just had a peace about everything. Ok, it was the Lord! I held and played with Luke in the playroom. He had no idea what was going on! I took in the moment and thought our lives are about to change completely and I was full of excitement that we were about to meet Noah and Luke was about to become a big brother and I a mommy of two!  

Our last picture before heading to the hospital.

So Fred and I took off and I was starving! I really wanted In-n-Out to be my last fat perggo meal but it wasn't opened yet, neither was any other burger joint I like so I had to settle for Burger King. The ride there was peaceful, we were joking, felt nervous, grabbed food and I felt so strange riding to the hospital painless to have a baby!

We arrived at Plano Medical Center, checked in, my mom met us there and before I knew it I was in a room changing into a gown and getting an IV! My doctor got there around 11:30am broke my water and started pitocin. Selina got there and now it was a waiting game!

The nurse slowly increased the pitocin and then I started to feel those contractions! My pain went from a happy face 0 to a not so happy face 5 in about 3 hours. By 3pm the contractions were getting pretty strong and I asked Fred for his hand so I could start squeezing the crap out of it! We were watching Ellen and my goal was to make it to the end of the show before I got an epidural. I didn't want to get it too early because I was only dilated to about a 4-5 and I didn't want it to wear off by the time I had to push.

So Ellen was over and I finally asked for an epidural! By this time my pain had gone to a not so smily 7! And by this time I regretted waiting for Ellen to be over because I had to wait almost an hour for them to put in the epidural! They first had to fill me up with like 2 bags of IV and then the lady could put the epirual in. By 5pm my contractions were really strong and I started the painful moanings! My pain was definitely a 10! 

He would whisper beautiful things in my ear and remind me to breath through my painful contractions.

After the epidural I was a happy smily 1 again! I relaxed and dosed off a few times.

By around 8pm I was fully dilated and was starting to get the urge to push! We did a practice push and then they called my doctor in! They set up, she got there, I pushed, then I pushed again but she said OK STOP! And all of a sudden my heart completely stopped and melted as I saw my sweet Noah for the first time! 8:19pm he decided to surprise me once again by coming out so fast! 

Holding mommy's hand for the first time!

Daddy got to cut the cord as I held sweet baby Noah who weighed 6lb 1oz and measured 18.5 inches!  I was so grateful to the Lord that Noah was born healthy and great because there was a risk that his lungs might not have been developed all the way at 37 weeks. But he was born in God's perfect time with perfect lungs that let out the most precious cries!

My recovery wasn't as smooth as the labor and birth. I had a lot of bleeding and I had a terrible case of the shivers. Although I was able to hold Noah right away for a few minutes I wasn't able to do skin to skin and feed him right away as I was hoping because they had to lay me flat and massage my belly for what seemed like an eternity! Fred was happy though because he got to hold Noah for a long time and cuddle with him. He didn't even let grandma hold him! Mostly because I think he knew how sad I was that I couldn't hold him and didn't want any one else to really hold him and cuddle him before I could.

Proud daddy! One of my favorite picture of my love.

I finally I got to hold my little guy and breastfeed and bond although I still had some pretty bad bleeding. He was perfect and beautiful, latched on right away and had his eyes wide open to the world! Then I threw up like twice and I felt horrible! Once my mom and Sel left I just started crying because I felt awful I could not stop shivering my teeth kept rattling but I wasn't cold and then top it off with throw up! I remember being a little shivery with Luke during labor but this was different and worse. My sweet Fred prayed for me and comforted me and I was finally able to get calm, stop shaking and dose off into some sleep. 

He still managed to get me a push gift! Another Tiffany heart to add to the heart
necklace he had gotten me when Luke was born.

After a few hours and a ton of belly massaging from the nurse I was able to get sent to a postpartum room but the night was pretty awful because they had to check on me like every hour because of my bleeding. But praise the Lord by the morning I felt a ton better, showered, ordered a yummy breakfast and was anxious to see Luke that day! Thank you to all our friends and family that prayed for us that day, the Lord was faithful and good to us as he blessed us with another beautiful healthy baby boy!

A Lettter to My Firstborn

Dear Firstborn,

To say you have changed my life is an understatement. You've changed my heart, my spirit, my body, my view of life. I am a completely different person because of you and can confidently say you've also made me a better person.

Because of you I've realized I'm stronger than I thought I was and my need for God is greater than I have ever known. He's used you to show me patience, selflessness and a motherly unconditional love I didn't know I had. You've taught me to slow down and cherish the little moments.

You were the first one to literally give me butterflies from the inside as I felt your tiny body move inside of me. You were the first one to use my belly as your hiding nesting place and the first to hear the beat of my heart from the inside. I knew I loved you before I met you.

As my first born I held you fresh out my womb and I knew you were all mine. You made me a mommy. I stared at you in amazement and you looked just like daddy. I couldn't believe that you grew inside of me! I held you and fed you and I knew I'd rather give my life before I'd let you get hurt.

You introduced me to the life of motherhood with no instructions. You allowed me to explore all the foreign concepts of being a mommy. More than half of the time I didn't know what I was doing and I still feel that way, but you don't seem to mind and you're the only one that I don't feel judged by.

I watch you grow and it still amazes me today how someone so precious and beautiful came out of me. It feels like just yesterday that I used to watch you lay there all cuddled up as you slept. Now I watch you run and play and roll around like a little boy!

In a few weeks my eyes will no longer just be on you but you and your little brother! I know you didn't have a say and really had no choice. You may not like it right away but I know with time you'll come around.

Some days you might have to wait a little longer for breakfast, lunch or dinner. You may want to be held right away but mommy's arms will be full. Some days I might have less patience than others and I'm positive some days I might break down and join the two of you for a cry.

But soon enough the three of us will be laughing and playing and I'll take you boys to the park and you'll get to have a partner in crime! You'll teach your brother how to swing and climb and soon enough you'll be the best of friends. Together you'll learn to share, fight and forgive.

I promise my dear firstborn that I will always sneak in an extra kiss for you when I hold your baby brother. I promise I'll try to get to you as soon as I possibly can though it may not be soon enough for you sometimes. I promise that some days we'll make daddy watch baby brother and me and you will go on an adventure just the two of us!

I know our life's are changing for the better with the coming of your brother and I am so blessed that I get to have you by my side through this. You'll always be my first and my oldest, my little punkin, my sunshine, my Luke. I love you baby boy.